Waking Up

It’s been one hell of a week, both work wise and life in general wise. It’s been distracting enough that I actually forgot what Sober Day I was on. I’m taking that as a good sign!

I was thrown for a loop on Sunday when I wanted to share ALL THE BEER with my friends, and then the week followed suit. It came to a head last night, well, all of yesterday in fact. I woke up with a splitting headache, work was horrific, and my evening was full of obligations. I wanted at least 5 bottles of wine and my couch. I wanted to cry and listen to Landslide because only Stevie Nicks could possibly understand my pain. Then I remembered the rule of HALT. I can’t remember whose wonderful sober blog I picked it up on, but I do believe it’s an A.A. thing. Regardless, it’s saved my sanity more than once.

H – Don’t get too HUNGRY

A – Don’t get too ANGRY

L – Don’t get too LONELY

T – Don’t get too TIRED

So, I ate a giant salad and watched an episode of a new drama I’ve gotten hooked on and confirmed with my friend for later in the evening. I also bought a chocolate bar to bring to her house to accompany the work we needed to do for the bachelorette party this weekend. I love HALT because it forces me to be self aware and because it has proven itself time and time again in these past thirty-something days. The rest of the evening was great and I felt a thousand times better than I had all day when I crawled into bed last night.

Now it is Friday and I am back at work, and I have just one more thing nagging me.

I enjoy my job, I truly do, but since sobering up I have felt like I should be doing something else. My whole employed life, I’ve wanted nothing more than to work from home, but I’ve never had the opportunity. My dream life includes making my own schedule, running in the morning but not at the unholy hour of 5:00 a.m. and then hunkering down and putting in a full day doing something I am passionate about. All of these things sprinkled in with dog-walks and cooking.

It always seemed like that was an impossibility, but looking at things from a sober perspective has shown me WHY THE HELL NOT?

I’m not quite sure how this plan will unfold, and I am definitely not going quit my job any time soon, but I’m entertaining it. I am in the first stages of creating the life I have dreamed about. I feel like I am waking up. I wouldn’t be here if I were still drinking.

Day 37, welcome to the rest of your life!

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