Remember that fundraising event I RSVP’d too? I was so excited to go and mingle and be supportive and sober.
I am not currently feeling that way.
It is all starting to sound crowded and chaotic. I can feel my blood pressure rising and I keep thinking, “What is the point?!”
I don’t have to go. I am allowed to stay home and watch a movie with my husband and rest up for the race I’m running on Sunday. It’s okay to protect my sobriety and not engage in social situations that take place at breweries. Not that anyone notices or cares that I’m not drinking, but on the off chance that they are noticing and caring, I don’t want to answer questions. I don’t want people to ask if I’m pregnant and then knowingly smirk and raise their eyebrows when I say no. I don’t want to be the sober fish in a sea of drinking party goers.
I want my home. My husband. My little dog. Hot tea. Smoothies or milkshakes, and a movie.
Everything takes time and sobriety is no exception. Today is Day 30, and I’ve got nothing but time!