I made it to Day 19! Another sober weekend in the books, and it was a doozy.
My husband and I had tickets to the Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally Summer of 69 tour on Friday night. I planned on heading downtown after work and waiting for my husband to make his way downtown as well. I had about an hour to kill on my own. This was slightly torturous. Nineteen days ago, given this window of time post-work, I would have found myself a bar near the venue and had a few drinks before the show. Knowing myself, it would have been a race to see how many I could get in before my husband arrived, and then having “just one more” with him. I would have tried to appear sober, or only 1 drink in. Depending on, well, a lot of things, I’d have either pulled it off or Mr. Fly would have been exasperated by his already drunk wife and I would have gotten defensive.
Instead, I meandered through downtown. I window shopped, and non-window shopped. I tried on shoes, went inside stores I’d always wondered about, and ended up in a tiny cafe near the venue. I ordered a shot-in-the-dark, a banana and a water and sat outside in the warm sunshine where I completed 3 French lessons. There were bars on every side of me, and I watched people come and go from the full patios. I felt sad, but it was mostly bittersweet. I kept thinking about whether or not I’ll ever be able to do that again, or if I’ll even want to. I wanted to on Friday night, but not enough to throw away all the effort I’ve put in. I also realized that I can still go to bars, I can sit on patios and have my own non-alcoholic drinks. The difference is, I won’t be that girl who stumbles as she leaves, or talks too loudly or shares too much. I’ll be the girl who leaves before dinner time and goes home and actually eats dinner. Happy Hour won’t turn into an excuse to start drinking immediately after work and well into the night with no pause.
After the (amazing) show, we went to a nearby bar for dinner. I ordered a non-alcoholic beer with dinner, and Mr. Fly ordered a regular beer. We ate, drank and walked home. It was romantic, and fun and I did not miss the booze at all!
Saturday night was another challenge. My first sober cocktail party.
I took a page from Unpickled and decided to dress to the nines. I absolutely love getting all dolled up, but I put 10,000 times more of an effort into it for Saturday night. I had a new dress to wear, a petticoat to debut, and bright red lipstick to don. I made a mocktail pitcher of Raspberry Lime Margaritas and off we went.
We made our grand entrance into a room full of people wearing jeans. I kid you not. There I was, Donna Reed herself, complete with a pitcher of homemade beverage (and non-alcoholic label which I had painstakingly created that afternoon) in a sea of folks looking like they were on there way to a baseball game. This was a 2 shots of whiskey with a follow-up glass of wine situation. Knowing that wasn’t an option, I greeted the host, set my pitcher out with the rest and filled a glass to the brim. I knew all of 3 people at this party – it was thrown by my husband’s colleague – but I did my best. I forgot that I actually am a social person, and capable of carrying on conversations without the aid of alcohol. It also didn’t matter that I was overdressed. I loved my outfit and with that came the confidence to own it! The evening wore on and by 9:30 p.m. I was ready to go, and so was my husband – who hadn’t had a drink all evening. I’m noticing that he’s drinking less and less as I rack up sober days, which is interesting.
Sunday was spent dog-walking and resting. Friday and Saturday took a lot out of me! I am relieved that it will only get easier to be social and sober. Tomorrow night we have good friends coming over for dinner. They are not privy to my sobriety, and I’m not sure how to navigate it. They always bring wine, but I think I’ll make another pitcher of “margaritas” to serve with our taco salad. I know they will be supportive, I’m just not sure I want to get into it. I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it!